Blogpost by Elizabeth Ribons
"Ask the right questions and the answers will reveal themselves."
-Oprah Winfrey
Jumping to 'conclusions', rushing the decision, and wanting quick results - as a society we value the answers (and results) more than taking the time to ask the questions - I admit I have fallen prey to this habit.
Personally, I like to move quickly through life and am very decisive. But...taking the time to consider 'all sides' and ask the right questions? Not something I did early on. I have sought the results and have suffered the consequences.
Fortunately, I have learned from experience and have realized that pausing and asking questions, weighing the evidence and possible outcomes, seeking valued advisement are optimum and when I am able to, I do it. The key is to then....take action. (So many get stuck and suffer analysis paralysis.)
Sometimes, we do not have the time or information to ask questions. We have to rely on our instincts or intuition to respond and hopefully, we have made the right choice. But what if you do not trust or have lost touch with your instinct/intuition?
I remember when I was in grade school asking the question "Why do we have to do Algebra?" It seemed useless.....Until my teacher pointed out that it helps us to make decisions. I am sure he got that question often and his answer? A good one. If you think about it, making decisions is very much like an algebraic equation and it does train us to deduce the answer. If only every life question was like an Algebra problem how simple it would be.
Life is far more nuanced. It requires skill in understanding ourselves and the criteria involved in order to make the best possible decisions given the circumstances and how to respond. How to get there?
Ask the right questions.
That means we need to step back and look more thoroughly at our why - what we want - the bigger picture and what may influence the outcome. Formulate questions around it - to deduce and create answers. If we take the time to do this? We will arrive at the best possible decision. (forget perfect-it doesn't exist - go with the best available option)
However, many lose touch with what we want because our 'why' became part of the consideration of a bigger view. It could be the team, business, your family, others' needs and we set our wants aside to see results that ultimately affect us as well. We choose it but somewhere along the way... stop asking ourselves the right questions.
Then, as life inevitably changes around us we may find ourselves at a place where we have more time to consider our own view -but have lost that balance, the ability to know our why and what we want for ourselves. How do we get back to it?
Ask the right questions..... Not everyone else's opinion. Ask ourselves.
It sounds easy but it takes stepping back and giving ourselves the space and time to ask and answer the questions. It is common to want to make a quick decision - which may not be your best outcome and end up being 'more of the same just in a different way, or ask everyone's opinion(even your hairstylist) because you have no idea what you want (or fearing failure) just settle with what is.
None of those really are solving the equation.
Take the time. Ask yourself the questions. Be patient and let it reveal itself.
Remember, good tools and habits take time and effort. You are worth the effort.
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