NEXT with Elizabeth Ribons Podcast

Checking In On Happiness

#definesuccess #findingyourself #happiness #itsyourtime #quiz #reassess #timeforyou #tips #whatsnext Jun 09, 2022
NEXT Career & Life
Checking In On Happiness
3:13:56
 

I recall years ago when I was on the sidelines of (one of many) at a sporting event with several other moms chatting together. One of the moms lamented...

"I just want to be able to enjoy a cup of coffee or glass of wine and a magazine - cover to cover - without interruption.  But it is impossible to even do that!?!"

She had three young children who were active and involved in sports and various activities. She was also doing a bit of freelancing. Then there was her husband to think of and her parents needed her from time to time.

She felt that she was being pulled in a million different directions and actually felt guilty for taking time for herself.

 But what stuck with me is that she knew

 She knew the simple thing that she could do for herself that would make her current status with everything else ok for the time being.  Did she get it?  I never found out but it made an impression on me - and the other moms too - as we all nodded our heads.

Myself, I had learned to meditate before I had children. However, if I tried to find time to do this when my children were young?  Either they or my animals or both would come to find me.  It was near impossible! 

I did find that working in the garden - while watching children- was a way for me to 'reset' and it did make me happy.  I made sure I made time for it.

Life was busy for all of us at that sporting event.   We were in the building stage of life where we decided to postpone our gratification for raising a family, working, and being the manager of family logistics, finance, travel, admin, and support.  We chose it and it is undeniably worth it.  And yes, it made us happy to be there for all of them.

But this is the sticking point. We lose that sense of who we are in all of it and often are confounded with what would make us happy if given the opportunity to create it. 

We just don't have the luxury of doing something special or big - just for us - and we postpone it.

But children get older and more capable.  There are ways to carve out time for what lights us up...But it feels selfish because we haven't made it a priority.

Then, life moves forward, we aren't needed as much and we are at a spot where we aren't sure what would make us happy.  Or what we could do next that would really speak to us. And it feels a little uncomfortable because we had so much going and now (even if we still have the job) It is not feeling quite right.  There is a space that needs filling but we want to be intentional about it.

I have had this conversation with so many women who -with good intentions- lose themselves along the way and come out at this juncture in life completely confounded as to what they want to do ...for themselves.  

Many of my podcasts highlight this topic and the answers always come to them when they were doing something that makes them happy. Something totally for them - not taking care of, doing for, etc. Just something totally for them.

It is a journey back to who they are and defining success for themselves now and going forward.  And I offer a course and workshops to reset their journey.  One of the cornerstones of NEXT is the 10 Questions to get clarity and to continue to use through life to assess and define success for themselves.

Some are not yet at a place where they are ready to reset and begin a new journey.  But something isn't feeling right.  Many of us have postponed our personal journey and forgotten to add ourselves back in to the equation.  It comes with a cost.

How about your happiness?  What could you do to carve out some little thing that would bring you a bit of joy? (Hint: not online shopping)

Whether in the building stage of life or the realization stage of midlife, all of us should check in on our happiness and assess where we can create opportunities to reconvene with who we are - even in the smallest way- if that is all life can afford you at the time.

This is especially important when we do so much for others.  These are a few simple "action" questions and you can search the web for more in-depth happiness questions online. For now these few questions are a springboard to get you thinking about actions you can take  to create some happiness in your life. 

1) What activities or pursuits are you currently making sure you include in your life now?

2) What activities, roles, and responsibilities are you currently carrying that you don't want to be?  When can you begin to give them up? (Note - you are not the only person who is capable of doing ______. There are solutions.  What if you weren't in the picture? There would have to be a solution...Take it from that place)

3) What are you not doing that you want to do? (small, medium, and large) Are you like I was and had that thing at the bottom of your to-do list but never got to it?? 

4) What are you not doing that you don't want to do? (but perhaps it is needed) Health, wealth, taxes, things like that that we tend to put off but your well-being depends on it.

 

How'd you do?  Take those answers and put them somewhere you see them daily.

Nothing is impossible if you truly are seeking it. I know that each of us has gifts that we can use to not only broaden our own life experiences but live more fulfilled lives - when the time allows. 

Make a habit of checking in at least once a year. Where are you at? Look for where you can create space for yourself and be aware of these tools to apply so you can continue to step back and assess if you are creating your own happiness or seeking it in other roles. (Want a deeper dive?  Scroll down to get the 10 Q quiz - the cornerstone to your NEXT)

Whether just starting out, or starting again - NEXT celebrates how women work and live - empowering them to leverage change and remain relevant throughout life and career. 

Find out more about the author,( Speaker, Founder, Podcast Host): Elizabeth Ribons 

See what is  NEXT at NEXT Career & Life

Get empowered with tips, inspiration and interviews on the podcast  NEXT with Elizabeth Ribons  - Listen now or on your preferred platform.  We'd love your Follow and Review

 

 

 

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