Connecting is integral to our lives and well-being- even more now- as we have become all too comfortable with screens and technology these past few years.
I am there too. I use technology to write and reach others but am also mindful of the importance of connecting 'IRL' as a necessary component of communication and community.
One of the easiest ways to connect is to find common ground with another person. When meeting new people, out at events, networking, or dinner parties, the most common practice is to share a story, or interest or find something we can relate to with another person.
Even in round table discussions, everyone might not agree but everyone at the round table is there for a common purpose. The result usually is learning - from getting to know people, to discussing ideas and creating solutions.
But it does require willing participants. I have attempted to strike up conversations with people who weren't invested in conversing or participating and I have been there too. Sometimes you just aren't up for chit-chat.
I recall an evening when I invited my husband's cousin and his wife from out of town over for dinner.
That includes hours...a starter, dinner, dessert, and.... chit-chat.
Well, being that I was the host, I dove in with a few options. Nothing. I cast my line again and came up empty. Honestly, I am fine with moments of silence but there is a time when it becomes awkward, and moving on to another person was not an option.
I would try again here and there...and my husband too. They were so kind, and I get it, not everyone has a lot to say.
He told me later that he felt like I was filibustering!. Well, it probably seemed that way.. I had to laugh, but the evening was dragging and I was striking out.
Then, finally, I mentioned pets. They lit up and told me about their cats. And if you ever have had a cat, you would agree that each has a distinct personality.
We began to share stories and soon we were laughing. I learned something about them and will always remember (heck, I worked hard for it) But I also learned something about the importance of finding common ground to connect with others. I didn't give up and even though their lives and experiences are different than ours, we could find something to connect on.
We were able to open up the conversation on other topics and enjoyed the rest of the evening. Had I given up, I think that would have been the most awkward dinner I would have ever hosted.
Finding common ground breaks the ice, and opens the door for communication and connection.
It is typically easy to connect on common ground with people from our general circles and age groups - we feel like we are understood and can relate to them easily. Usually, we tend to stick with our "groups". But are we learning new things? Different perspectives? Probably.
What about cross-generational conversations? Can we find common ground? I know that when I do chat with those generationally younger or older than me, I enjoy their perspective and insights. It is from a vantage point that I do not have, collective experiences I do not share and I am interested because I learn from them.
Recent articles like this article from the Harvard Business Review provide the value that cross-generational overlap can be leveraged in the workplace - but it takes effort and an understanding of how to reach a common goal from different collective experiences and vantage points.
What about a round table discussion between women about how we live and work now and exploring their NEXT? Their journey. From those starting out, those in the building years, and those starting again on a different path and developing something meaningful. Couldn't we gain wisdom from each other?
I know from my podcast, that guests have mentioned how valuable it was for them to gain wisdom from someone younger or older than them. They were reluctant at first but found it to be incredibly useful and impactful to their lives and work. Exploring commonalities from different vantage points can bring an idea or awareness we hadn't considered.
The value of tapping into the insight from different generations is one that could provide powerful perspectives - if we are able to stay with it and find common ground and connect- we all stand to benefit.
Whether just starting out, or starting again - NEXT encourages us to rethink how live and work - empowering us to gain agency and remain relevant throughout life and career.
Find out more about the author,( Speaker, Founder, Podcast Host): Elizabeth Ribons
See what is NEXT at NEXT Career & Life
Get empowered with tips, inspiration, and interviews on the podcast NEXT with Elizabeth Ribons - Listen now or on your preferred platform. We'd love your Follow and Review
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