Blogpost by Elizabeth Ribons
Contributed by: Cindy Lamar, Transformational Coach, and a NEXT Expert
Moving is hard. Packing your belongings into boxes, finding movers you can trust, and unpacking at the other end, hopefully fitting everything into the new space is a giant chore – and that is just the physical part of it. The emotional cost of moving can be the bigger challenge, especially when you like or even love the life you’re leaving.
I have become an “expert relocator” having moved up and down the East Coast, and then a few years ago my then partner, now spouse and I moved over to the West Coast, leaving behind family and a community of friends for a completely different climate and lifestyle. With each move I polished my sifting and packing techniques, learning how to ride the inevitable waves of emotion. As seasoned as I am at moving, my last move happened during the Covid-19 pandemic, and despite my relocation experience, I think it was the most difficult move for several reasons.
Speed
The reason for our move was a new job, and the company wanted my spouse to be available to report in person in six weeks. The clock started ticking and the pressure was on to find an apartment, book movers, order boxes, and pack. For a few days, a surreal paralysis overcame me, followed by a shift into high gear. I knew I didn’t have time for it all to sink in; I had to begin moving my life into boxes quickly.
Tip: Whether you have six weeks or six months you will feel like it’s not enough time.
Abnormal Good-Byes
Before we knew we were moving my three closest friends left Los Angeles. Covid-19 had launched many into survival mode and others into seeking new jobs and following dreams. The complete disruption of my social circle left me feeling abandoned by their departure, and I was too afraid of Covid to venture out much alone. And then we decided to leave.
With previous moves I planned farewell tours, visiting both favorite haunts and places that had been on my “to see” list, but with Los Angeles being on Covid-19 lockdown, I kept my farewell tour light and tight: a final trip to the Ventura waterfront, a meditative walk through our nearest park, a breakfast burrito from our favorite Mexican kitchen. With friends gone, the hardest thing to leave was our apartment because we absolutely adored it. A favorite delight was watching hummingbirds as they darted around our feeder in our sundrenched terrace garden. When we landed at our new place, the hummingbirds were absent, and our northern exposure had more fog than sun.
Embracing What’s New
Before our move I researched a few places in the new neighborhood, giving me something exciting to explore with our arrival. Spend some energy and thought on how you want to be in your new place. What can you add to your life? A new hobby? A pet? Try to see your new environment as an exploratory playground. You may be surprised at what you discover! Moving is unsettling and we are in a time of heightened uncertainty. Be patient with yourself as you adjust, it takes time, don’t rush it. It has taken longer for me to feel settled in this time, but it’s happening. This week, after almost 5 months, I saw my first hummingbird swoop onto our terrace for a sip of lavender nectar. Keep opening yourself to new experiences and you’ll be fine. Embrace the process.
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