Blogpost by Elizabeth Ribons
The month of November and the holidays remind us of the importance of giving thanks. But how are you doing the rest of the year?
Over a decade ago, I was going through an especially difficult time in my life and questioned often "Why me?" It was as if I would get knocked down, get up, find my footing, and then BOOM another slam.
Life was showing me - in a big way - that I had to reset and reframe the way I was thinking and responding. In order to find happiness and get through that tough time? I had to literally change my perspective.
I did seek out support and began working very hard on changing my thoughts and my life. Step by step, little by little I made progress. One of the things I learned - and honestly I had heard it over and over but hadn't truly applied it -was to 'flip the script' on negative thoughts.
How? Foster a thankful attitude. Write a gratitude list. For each negative thought, I would stop and think of or jot down what I was grateful for. It took work! I kept a little book with me and would immediately write down 10 things whenever a negative thought or worry crept in.
Why did I bother? Because I knew that immediately felt better, my view on life was better, I was more resilient, had a positive perspective which then lead me to find positive solutions.
Was it magic? No. This article in Positive Psychology on the topic Neuroscience of Gratitude and how it affects anxiety and grief has been extensively researched. Practicing gratitude changes the chemistry in our brain, which then helps us respond differently, view life from a more positive perspective, manage decisions, and change in a more productive way.
Negative thoughts and worrying are never helpful and we can get stuck in that frame of mind unless we take actions to switch our focus and 'flip-the-script'. It is a habit that we have to form for ourselves. Just like any other healthy habit.
We all know that person who has a negative view, feels like they are a victim or is really struggling to manage a tough time in life, and have you tried to tell them to think positively? Usually, it is not well received.
But perhaps we can be an example and say words of gratitude to them? This article from Harvard Health Giving Thanks.. reflects how our saying "thank you" in our relationships and at work can have positive results.
The article provides some good tips but I have a few that have worked well for me and I continue to practice:
- Spiritual practice - Whether you have a faith, higher power,belief in God, the Universe - whatever it is - meditation and thankfulness can improve your inner resilience
- Weekly writing 5,5,5 - 5 Things I learned, 5 Things I did well, 5 things I am especially thankful for this week
- Say 'thank you' to others and acknowledge something good that they are doing. I try to make sure I do this regularly. It is easy to forget and take those near us for granted
- Say thank you to service providers, those who are working for you, and acknowledge exactly what they did to be helpful.
- Gratitude list - I am able to immediately think of what I am grateful for and still practice it.
I know that gratitude journals are proven to be successful and I recommend it. I have found a daily practice that works for me.
Each morning, I set aside time to meditate, write and start the day with gratitude. It has made a huge difference in my life and how I respond to it. And, it has gotten me through the tough spots so I can live my best life now.
“Be thankful for what you have, you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.” -Oprah
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