Blogpost by Elizabeth Ribons
Women have so many plates in the air and are doing so much in their life and career that they rarely have the time to stop and check in on their own well-being.
With all the demands on us, there are times when we feel we are not enough, or that we should not ask for more - what is enough?
Or maybe what we are seeking is something else?
With the pandemic, we all are keenly aware of how this issue has been exacerbated - hence the "Great Resignation"
Women of middle age, empty nesters, those who are transitioning from corporate and retiring...Are grappling with something that just isn't feeling right.
I am hearing in the conversations...They are wanting more but aren't sure what it is or how to achieve it.
Most will go on social media as a quick fix and rarely are truly satiated. Instead, they feel more disconnected and lonely as reflected in this article from The WallStreet Journal :
"For women feeling burned out from holding family life and work together, social media has typically been the most convenient place to vent and seek connection. But going online has surfaced feeling of loneliness and inadequacy, many say."
Social media is like the bag of chips you want to eat (and do) but never really feel very good afterward. It doesn't truly feed us in a good way and then we feel worse for eating it.
What will feed this empty feeling? How can we connect?
Many mention that because they are working remotely, are caring for young children or elderly parents or because of the pandemic, they are not seeing and connecting with people as much.
All of our lives have been disrupted and many of us are transitioning into a new way of living and working and that takes design - intentionally creating solutions - and developing best practices.
What does this mean? We have to be intentional about all aspects of our life. It isn't an easy fix, but the things that brought us connection in the past - easily - at work and community, may not be happening any longer.
"We have to be intentional about all aspects of our life"
Years ago when I switched up my life, had a child, and was abruptly alone...I hadn't considered the loneliness I would feel. I chose to leave my business and stay home. But I didn't take into account how that would affect me.
It took me some time to realize what I needed and it was to regularly schedule fun, connection, relaxation, and interests into my life as much as I devote to my work, family and home.
This is a story I share in my work because right now?? We are IN IT and there is a way to get through it.
I will share some tips and tools that I had to adopt....to adapt.
Here is a way for you to get more...but differently
Perspective: This moment in life? It is ideal because we have so many opportunities to create the life we want. Maybe we aren't used to having this kind of freedom? I know I wasn't....
I created the 'framework' for a better way of living my day-to-day . I am not so strict I cannot be flexible (remember that is the sweet spot we have - we can choose) but I pretty much follow it most often, so I have time for work and things to look forward to.
- Each morning, celebrate your inner life with meditation, a spiritual practice, journaling. (With a young family? I actually got this time when I woke up very early - about 2 times per week) But it sets the tone for the day
- Exercise - dance, stretch, walk, hike, bike - take care of your body
- I dress for work - casually but not sweatpants - and sit myself down and work a solid 5 hours with a couple breaks to eat, move around, etc. SECRET: I get far more completed and done very well with a time chunk that is shorter than a 9-5 day and my clients have found this to be the same for them. Now, there are studies that support this type of schedule.
- I finish up and do something for myself - read, meet a friend for a walk, just take a short breather and finish out the day with dinner and relaxation. (Sometimes I work a bit after dinner - but rarely)
- Weekly: I have created virtual meetup groups where we share a Win and Loss for the week. "Wisdom Circles" are what I call them and they are a huge factor in helping me. We all benefit. I gather these groups by interest or topics and have been meeting for years. (past 2 virtually)
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I regularly schedule weekly activities - meet a friend for a coffee, walk, work on an interest or past time, garden, creative pursuits - write, bake, sculpt - whatever it is...Bring creativity into your life.
It develops our inner self, fills it with a bit of joy, and gives us a feeling of fulfillment. It is for you.
It doesn't have anything to do with if you are any good at it. It develops our inner self, fills it with a bit of joy, and gives us a feeling of enjoyment. It is for you.
Here is the bottom line:
You are more in charge of your own life now than you ever have been. Make it count. Develop these habits and boundaries and recognize that we can feel more fulfilled when we take charge of our inner and outer lives.
Why do we make sure we show up for work, family and all the other things....before our own well-being?
I did this too and it is what many of us do. But we can create space for us and we are better for it.
My clients and colleagues all admit that these tips have helped them. They suffer when they get complacent about it.
Understand, life gets busy and we can't always follow a schedule - but it is a good standard to work from.
Important: Those I work with, my guests on the podcast, and my colleagues ALL have expressed how much better they feel when they take time for creative pursuits...It is truly an AHA moment
And my clients find that they are more open to their NEXT because they are at their core more relaxed, and in a better place. That has happened many times. Not the actual creative pursuit becoming the BIG thing so much as it gives them a chance to develop more joy and then they are open to what their NEXT will be.
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