"With hybrid, remote, or working for ourselves, we love the flexibility but perhaps we don't realize what we gave up."
I had the business I had built, and loved. It was thriving. I had a busy family life and all that went with it.
I had achieved my goals but there was something I hadn't considered. Something was missing.
What more could I want? That was the start of my new beginning...
I of course worked with people who were terrific. But a lot of my time was spent on my own.
I was incredibly busy in my work and life - I was connecting all the dots - and I was able to be there for what mattered most for me with my family.
But still - I felt lonely - and a bit guilty for feeling that way.
I started to realize that I spent a good amount of time on my own. This was years ago when remote work was hardly a possibility - but the fact that my family life and work took up most of my time was an issue I needed to examine.
I wasn't doing anything to reset or refill my tank. This was long before 'self-care' became popular and the "make it happen" culture was in full swing.
I realized I had to create a better life structure for myself.
Most of us go through life shifts (relocation, starting a family, new career, empty nest, etc), and it is typically in those shifts that we are noticing we are disconnected and in fact lonely. Perhaps where we are at isn't where our circles of friends are at. Or, we are so immersed in our responsibilities we have abandoned our circles and our interests.
I realized that with all that I had going on in my life with family and business - I still needed to carve out time and not lose myself. I had to revisit what gave me joy beyond my work and family.
After COVID, technology streamlined many things for us and removed many opportunities for interacting in person with people in our daily lives.
Many preferred to work remotely but didn't pay attention to the unmet need for community, human interaction, and possibly making sure we were nurturing those relationships that are so important to us.
A recent Harvard Research Study reported (after 80 years of research) that people who were happiest and healthiest in life were the ones that were most satisfied with their personal relationships. (That starts with ourselves and then those we love)
Loneliness has become a serious issue for many through this transition between work and life. Where once, in-person interaction was a daily happenstance, we transitioned to working remotely, hybrid, or for ourselves. The key incentive was to gain flexibility in our work and lifestyles, but perhaps we have been less intentional about what we traded for it.
Being my own boss for over two decades I realized how very vital it was for me to treat connecting with friends and family with the same efforts as I did with maintaining and growing my business.
I had to become intentional about each week and how I would set up personal time, and time with those I care about. It sounds easy but it takes effort because we just get busy...and tired.
It is a new habit we have to form to continue to reap the benefits of a dynamic work and lifestyle and to counteract isolation.
The changes we are seeing are exciting -because of the opportunities to shape our lives and careers like never before -but also disruptive because it requires change, and no one has done this en masse.
What are we doing to make sure we are getting our emotional needs met and continue to regularly nurture relationships?
We all experience new chapters in our lives and it is important to seek out and develop circles of community and continue to nurture those you care about. It seems we took this for granted pre-COVID and many are struggling with "what it is that is missing" now. We actually have to make an intentional effort to be amongst people and to continue to create connections for ourselves.
What I have learned from my "unease" all those years ago is to be sure to take the time to refill myself. Invest in those relationships that are so important and remember to continue creating new circles as your life evolves and changes.
Consider doing any one of these: (for all ages)
1) What gives you joy? Go back to it. Seek out groups that are doing that thing you abandoned, a class that is teaching it, or an interest you never explored. Explore it.
2) Join groups in your community, social concerns, teams, or charity work.
3) Be part of smaller support/mastermind-type groups for women, moms, and small businesses, with similar interests and meet up regularly. This has been a key for me in life and in business.
4) Studies show those who socialize more are happier and live longer lives.
Community is vital to our well-being and on my podcast NEXT with Elizabeth Ribons, my guest Work Futurist and Sway workplace Founder Denise Brouder discusses how hybrid and flexible work can be supported now. Coworking spaces and tech cafes for one are necessary.
With hybrid, remote, or working for ourselves, we love the flexibility but perhaps we don't realize what we gave up. It is important to build in that structure so we can live full and happy lives.
Whether just starting out, or starting again - NEXT encourages us to rethink and design how we live and work - empowering us to continue to remain relevant throughout life
Find out more about the author,( Speaker, Podcast Host): Elizabeth Ribons
See what is NEXT at NEXT Career & Life
Get empowered with tips, inspiration, and interviews on the podcast NEXT with Elizabeth Ribons - Listen now or on your preferred platform. We'd love your Follow and Review
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